Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Reflection: Part 3 - MMHS

A Year of Professional Changes - Part 1
Part 2 - SHSE



As I drove away from SHSE, I felt nothing but relief.

I was now in job-limbo, but I knew that SHSE was not sustainable for my mental health or my teaching career.

Over the several days, I was in constant contact with my new principal and HR, finalizing everything for my new job. Less than a week later, I was back in the classroom.

My new job was a bit different, and I'm sure many teachers would complain if they had the same situation, but for me, it was a oasis after a year in a desert. I was teaching biology and forensic science. I was teaching juniors and seniors for the first time. I was teaching in three different classrooms - rotating throughout the day. I was beginning two weeks into the second semester. I was starting in a new district and learning everything on the fly - new systems, new grade books, new acronyms (we all know every district has their own acronyms for everything). But I was willing to do all of it for this new start.

I was able to teach again. I had coworkers to collaborate with. I had administrators who cared about the students as individuals and as learners.

It was not long until I felt my rhythm coming back. 


I had all of February and half of March with my students and loved getting to know them, and them getting to know me. We had a routine and were having fun, but then we were cut short by COVID.

Distance teaching is a different ball game. Its challenging to keep in touch with students in the same way you do in the classroom. You can't do a quick check-in, you can't gauge their facial expressions.

But, it's made me appreciate MMHS so much more. From the first day, the focus as been on our students' well being. Administrators and teachers have been worried about ensuring our kids are fed, safe, and have access to our counselors and social workers. Those services were worked out first, then we tackled academics, but with a heart for the students who don't have access or are dealing with other circumstances. Our area is being hit hard by the virus, and MMHS is being cognizant and compassionate of this.

For the academics, I am still loving it. For my students engaged with the learning, they have had great feedback for me and have been asking great questions. During live sessions, they have been appreciative. It has pushed me to find creative ways to teach and explain things - always looking for the best way for students to learn a concept.

I have also learned more about my coworkers within the past two months through our collaboration sessions, and they have been able to see my strengths and weaknesses as well. Coming in at the middle of the year, it is easy to become an island, but this strange season of teaching has relied so much on collaboration and provided me a unique opportunity to get to know my coworkers to much faster than I think I would have normally.

I am not thankful for COVID by any means - I would still give anything to be back in a normal classroom and see my students every day - but it did provide me with some unique insight and opportunities that I don't think I would have had otherwise.

I am confident now that moving to MMHS midyear was the right decision for me.

Reflection: Part 2 - SHSE

A Year of Professional Changes - Part 1
Part 3 - MMHS

Reflection: A Year of Professional Changes - Part 1

The past year has been the most challenging, and in many ways, traumatic year of my professional career. It has brought me to two different states and three different districts. COVID-19 craziness aside, I have had to adapt and change in more ways than I have had to in all my 7 other years of teaching.

Since teaching from home, I have had time to reflect on what the last year has been like. It has given me time to focus on the parts of teaching that ignite passion and separate the parts of teaching that, in the words of Marie Kondo, do not bring me joy.

A few days ago, a Facebook Memory popped up that I so badly wanted to share, because it had pictures of colleagues I miss dearly; however, the post showed so much naivety for what my journey had in store, it no longer seemed appropriate.

So I'm writing here. 


I'm going to break this into several parts, since I am using this as a cathartic way to let out all of my thoughts and experience and send them into the void. This post will be a brief overview, and the others will be linked below, expanding on each experience.

Part 2 - More About SHSE
Part 3 - More About MMHS

To keep everything professional, any names I will keep to a capital letter, and schools will only be noted by an anonymous acronym.

Here's my journey. 


A year ago, I was teaching high school science - mainly biology courses, but also some chemistry - at PHS in Georgia. I had some of the best coworkers - a true support system in a state where I had no family aside from my husband. My administrators were truly supportive. Although every staff will find something to complain about, the administrators were truly some of the best I have worked with. I also had the opportunity to work at the district level and meet some amazing teachers from other high schools in the district and instructional coaches who pushed me to be the best science teacher I could be.

So why would I leave? 


We had no family in Georgia. We knew we wanted to be closer to family, to start a family, to have more longevity in our home. Georgia did not provide those things.

Ultimately, we moved to Michigan. The hiring timing is very different in the south, where school starts in early August, and in the north, where school starts after labor day. I was anxious about finding a job, since I was the breadwinner for our family. I networked as fast as I could and took a job at a high school before any large districts had even posted their openings for the next school year.

In hindsight, this was my mistake. I should have waited, but my anxiety took over and I wanted the stability in our move knowing that we would be financially okay. The pay was good and our big move seemed more realistic.

As a teacher at SHSE I felt undervalued, underappreciated, and belittled on a daily basis. My years of experience seemed like they did not matter. The knowledge of my content seemed like it did not matter. I quickly questioned - why pay a seasoned teacher when you could pay a sub less? A huge piece of teacher retention is ensuring teachers feel valued, heard, and appreciated for even the smallest of victories they have in their classrooms. Everyone has room to learn, but when a teacher is coached, it is just as important to boost the positive areas as it is to support the negative areas.

I spent Winter Break thinking whether or not the job was worth it. It hadn't even been a full semester, and it had taken a serious toll on my mental health and I could see myself becoming a worse teacher. I was losing my passion and joy for teaching - a job I loved so much at my previous school.

In January, I applied to an opening at MMHS and was offered the job. I put in my two weeks noticed, but was forced to resign the day I put in my notice. It was the most terrifying week of my life as I waited in-limbo between jobs. I took a pay cut to switch jobs, a financial move I wasn't sure we could totally adjust to, but my husband assured me that my mental health was worth it. I took the job not even knowing exactly what I would be teaching, or what my schedule would be, or what supplies I would have... I was walking into the unknown just hoping for reprieve from SHSE.

And it was. MMHS reminded me so much of PHS in terms of coworkers, administrators, support... Within a week I could feel my love of teaching coming back. Even through the COVID-19 distance teaching, I find myself enjoying teaching again, finally, a year later.